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...When you get that naked in front of a crowd feeling
A few weeks ago I hosted a half day long event for leaders.
The scene was set outside and it was a perfect fall day.
We ate, did yoga, talked, journaled, and shared our insights and reflections.
It was nice.
But as soon as the event ended, the inevitable question arose in my mind, “How did it go?”
Followed by critique.
I was tired and my words didn’t come as easily.
I should have said THIS not THAT
Did EVERYONE get value from the day?
I could have and should have performed better
And then, like I was 13 and right back in middle school, embarrassment elbowed its way into my body.
Hot and itchy.
I wanted to squirm away from the analysis playing out in my mind.
While uncomfortable, feeling embarrassed isn’t new to me. It’s been a part of my work and leadership for long enough that I know what it means.
For me, embarrassment shows up when I’m trying something new.
Leading professional learning with a deeper element of culture work and connection
Asking questions in a 1:1 beyond the traditional scope
Hosting a three day retreat in the mountains
Speaking to leaders about adaptive work. Things like mindset, drama consciousness, and soul, when they are comfortable with their preference for the strategy and technical solutions
Once the tide of embarrassment recedes, I’m usually left with a more grounded and clear reflection.
The truth is this:
Leadership is a creative act.
It involves going first, trying new things, putting yourself out there.
It also involves feeling like a weirdo at times, being misunderstood, and having people not like you.
Leadership can be embarrassing.
Maybe you have a different word for what it feels like after you put yourself out there in a new way.
But that sense of discomfort and, maybe, resistance, comes from our ego. Our ego functions as self preservation.
When people have something to say about you, your ego doesn’t like that. But as a leader, the battle is between our ears and in our heart.
And winning the battle to step in our highest calling and be the leader we want to be will requires these three things:
The ability to regulate your body when strong emotions hijack your nervous system
The skill of quieting all the chatter in your mind
The willingness to keep your heart open
The game isn’t to avoid embarrassment at all costs.
The game is to keep trying, keep serving, and keep becoming more ourselves.
Cheering all you weirdos on,
Maggie
PS - If the discomfort and stress of leadership is getting to you, it’s important to know you’re not alone in that experience. So many leaders have lost sleep rehashing a 1:1 conversation with an angry colleague, felt distant and disconnected from their lives outside of work, and wondered if everyone else is also making it up as they go. That’s why I’m offering a FREE 1 hour long coaching session focused on helping you drop the stress and keep the leadership. I want to do this work with you! You can book your coaching session HERE.
Confront the ego - ego functions as self preservation- people will have something to say about you, ego doesn’t like that - the battle is between the ears and in the heart - to do your biggest calling, to be the leaders you want to be
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